Dear Baya,

       So, what about sex? Though at first, because you are my grandpa, I feel awkward doing so, I think I should ask. It is something my friends and I are constantly discussing of course, I am deluged by images and discussion in magazines, television etc. Since you’ve watched me grow since I was a baby, and we’ve talked about so many things, I feel you can be frank with me.

      My feelings are jumbled on this. Sex seems so beautiful and so pleasurable. It also seems something which our biology needs to emphasize. So surely it is cool?

      Yet it is also surrounded by so many taboos and so much guilt and danger. Although people are much more open about incest, masturbation, adultery, homosexuality and things like that, I still find it difficult to see the broad picture.

      Is our civilization odd in its sexual attitudes? What do they do and say in other parts of the world? Do most people feel guilt-inducing temptations which they have to repress and sometimes give in to? Is sex more than just a bodily thing?

     I know there are many books out there which can give me advice. But before I get launched into them properly, it would be really great if you could just jot down a few of your observations and definitions, looking at the subject across time and space. I know you’ve lectured to students over the years on this. Could you share a few of the thoughts with me?

Lots of love,